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the not so joyous ride
shut up, i know its not spring.
so as you may or may not know, im not completely happy all the time. go figure right? sometimes at night, at any time usually between 12 and 1 i just decide to put a jacket on and go drive places. well i just got back from a nice drive, and what better way to return to xanga than with a story?
usually when i go driving i just get in and go. recently ive been feeling particularly unhappy, so i added more fun to the drive tonight. (cd player reads 1246am) i went to dairy queen in abington, and drove down route 58 south as fast as i could (within reason of course) for a half hour. in the 30 minutes of driving, i traveled just under 28 miles and ended up well into carver. once you pass halifax on route 58, the speed limit is 45-50. i made some good distance on that stretch.
so i stop, turn around and change cds. (cd player reads 118am) then take off back down route 58 heading north. so the goal here for me was to make it back to dairy queen in under 30 minutes. so before 148am. when i got to hess in hanson i was making really good time. less than a minute later, as im flying around a slight left im going just under 60. as i realize im approaching the school i decide to slow it down to far less than the 60 i was doing. i see a car in my mirror come flying around the corner and blue lights hit. im fucked...
so i sit and wait for the cop to come up, ive got my registration already in the seat beside me and my license in my hand. he walks up, says i have to slow it down a bit...yadda yadda yadda. then he does the generic cop thing and says word for word, "do you have any idea how fast you were going?" i didnt even know he had passed me so i obviously didnt know how fast i was going at the time. but i wasnt going to openly admit i was going 60, so i say "45...ish." he comes back right away with, "i got you at 57."
he asks if ive had any alcohol and you couldve guessed the answer to that question. he walks around the car for a second and shines his industrial size flashlight everywhere. he comes back and asks to see my license, so i hand it to him. "dobbins huh? you got an older brother" i reply with "no sir just 2 younger." then he asks their name and ages, so i give him that too. after that he asks where im going in such a hurry, so i say im going home. "wheres that?" he asks, as hes looking at my fucking license. "whitman" i respond. then he asks if im coming from walmart, and i tell him im coming from carver. after all that he asks me again the names and ages of my brothers, so i tell him again. asks again where im coming from and where im going, so i tell him again. then he asks for my "reg" (cop slang, i thought it was funny) and says "alright charles why dont you just sit tight for a while." and he walks away.
so im sitting in my car, 24 degrees with no heat. im pretty fucking cold now. and the first thing i think of is how im not going to make it back to dairy queen before my cd player reads 148. at this point the blue lights are getting sort of annoying, so i move my mirrors, problem solved. then im thinking that theres no fucking way im gonna drive away from this without either a) getting a million dollar ticket or b) sucking him off. alright so i lied, i wasnt thinking the b) part. but seriously, 57 in a 35 im thinking that im fucked and 100% sure of that.
a while later, between 5-10mins. he comes back with a slip of paper in his hand. he hands me my license and registration and points at the paper with his huge flashlight. he says "ok im gonna give you a written warning and it wont be put on your record or held against you." i mention how appreciative i am and whatnot. then he goes on to say that if he were to write the ticket it would have been two-hundred and something, i forget exactly but it was a little over 200. he also said something about how he thought i was a "good and respectable kid" so i thought to myself that saying sir 100 times and kissing ass really paid off. he also pointed out that on the warning, he wrote that he had me on rader doing 47 instead of 57, that way it doesnt look as bad and he can still prove to his boss that hes actually doing his job. then he told me he "understands its late, theres no cars on the road, im probably tired and just wanna get home." he was only right about one thing, but i didnt argue. so then i finally got to leave and drive away. 57 in a 35 and i pay zero dollars.
so i sorta laughed about it the rest of the way. i didnt drive to dairy queen, i just drove straight home instead. and the cd player read 156am so i still made decent time. i thought it was kinda weird how i passed atleast 10 cops before i got stopped, and none of those times did it occur to me that i just may get pulled over. i was just thankful that i didnt get stopped in carver. i dont wanna know what the fine is for 80 in a 45.
needless to say, the next time i go out for a drive at night...i probably wont put myself on a time trial. |
